Big Bong Reality Update

First up webstuff = all sublinks open a new w window

webgreetings Dear Linear Scholar,

First time here? If so, first thing you need to know is that we been bumped up at a pause point for more than a couple of years now, wwwaiting for the Law to change and the next thing you need to knowww is that Big Bong Reality has been Updated Monthly for *at least* the TWO HUNDREDETH and FOURTYTurd time since September 1995. (Over 20 continuous web years old, as for how many actual "Realty Updates" written and uploaded 'in between' the *at least* 243 monthlies and over 20 years? Dunno, except that its way way more than 420, this is FER SURE the most often overwwwriten webpage in all my cyberspace and possibly, in all of cyberspace as well ;O)--~

Historically speaking, this reality update feature was one of the main clauses written into the 2 year contract I signed in September 1995 (with I.R.C.S.A) for the first BigBong website Clause = Author (that's me) to supply a reality update every 2 weeks for duration of contract (2 years) - which I did, they figured (rightly) that without me to write fresh words, the Big Bong web site wouldn't be a 'proper" website. In September of '97 when the contract was finished and I.R.C.S.A decided to step aside, I kept the website with it's reality update going and have never missed upgrading this page, which, I suppose makes this one of the longest running blogs on the web, of course, I write way way way more words per month than what you can see in here - most of the heavy duty blogging I do/have done is viewable at the teXt-files, I digress - mostly to illustrate the continuity nightmare that blogging can create when a 'first timer' hits a 20+ year old blog and all the information on display requires prior knowledge.....

METAphorically the Big Bong web construct can be likened to a solar powered space craft, each sail is made of <html> shaped in such a way so as to powwwer the web construct through cyber space, kinda like a sailing ship through the ocean. Since powering up the webcam can be likened to firing up the 'prime thruster' of a rocket ship and since the BBt-PPP Cyber Capsule was designed to only light up the prime thrusters at the start of construction and since there are so many sails powwwering the BBt-PPP, it has made sense to let the 'good ole' BBt-PPP Cyber Capsule voyage blurbingly along its eccentric tangent towards materialization at a future point in space and time whilst I went else web to construct other smaller, more maneuverable constructs powwwered almost entirely by web cam imagery, portals originally designed as tug boats for the BBt-PPP which were designed to morph into 'retro rockets' with the passing of time.

Thus, you know some of the wwwhy why this page morphed into an elseweb portal page, a constantly overwritten book markable sign post page that is never more than a "mouse click" away from wwwhere-ever the wwwords are being wwwoven in the now.

Thing is, that I never set out to become a Big Bong builder or a Cannabis Law Reform Activist, I set out to become a writer and as you can imagine dear linear scholar, after such a long time of not being able to manifest all of the myriad requirements that obstacle me in reality you would think I would be some what discouraged, not so, I mean, I knew from the instant that I had the idea, that actually building Bongzilla (my nick name for the Big Bong Peace Pipe) was going to be somewhere the other side of highly impossible.

Thing is, I am not discouraged, because no matter how impossible building a 420 foot high Big Bong Peace Pipe might look 21 years later in the January of 2016, it is definitely - and significantly - less impossible now than it was when I first had the idea on the 29th of June 1994, not to mention the fact that the writer/artist in me has had plenty of outlet weaving what amounts to an entire sector of cyber space, which is why, when all is said and done, I am not discouraged by Bongzilla being bumped up at any pause point, not when there is so much happening in the real world of my highly subjective reality ;O)--~

2016...

Who'd have guessed it? 20+ years online and still alive and uploading content... this time 22 years ago I had a box of pens and 2 notebooks full of poems and ideas (only one of which was to build a Big Bong), I didn't own - or really know how to use a computer and/or how to write a book. 21 years ago, I had finished one finger typing up the manuscript that ultimately became the novel that this entire webspace is constructed "upon" on a 386 with 4 MB of RAM and was actively engaged in the promotion of the novel. 21 years ago, the BiG BonG TheorY was selling in book stores all over Sydney and Internet was a word I had heard on television whilst 'back packing' in the U.S.A (91-94), of course, I had been reading about global computer networks in science fiction novels since I learnt how to read, but 'reading about' and 'writing with-in' are entirely different things, which loopingly brings me to the main point of this word assembly, the "weblog" component of this January 2016 Reality Update.

Anyhow, as I said above, I up date this page on the first of the month (or as soon after as I can - web connection and the lack there of has always been a significant factor in uploading these updates over the years) and I over write it during the month if something "Big Bong" is actually happening - and if it does - here is where you will read about it first.....speaking about reading what I have been writing, here is the second draft of the first piece of a short story called "IcebUrg".

IMPORTANT NOTE: The rules of punctuation and spelling, such as they is/was/are/were, have changed many times since they were chiselled in stone and even more times since one had to pluck a duck and squeeze a squid and those who are aware of the significance of second declension nouns as they relate to words of non-latin origins, be aware, there is much much plenty enmanglementii of what ever word assembly rules you have hitherto held in your head. To get the full flavour of this word assembly, copy it and paste it into what ever platform you write upon so you get to see all the squiggly lines that look like water.

Imagine an iceburg adrift in a freezing ocean, it's occupied by all sorts of things, but only by the kind of things that would rather be on an iceburg with other things than freezing in the water on their lonesome.

Anyway, to suit the porpoise telling this story, not saying that there are porpoises in this story, because the metaphorical iceburg of which I squeak is mostly by populated by penguins, penguins who have huddled together for warmth and security and mutter among themselves penguishly until - inevitably- a bunch of them decide that they can steer the iceburg better than them long in the tooth walrus's who seemingly spend all their lives lazing on the edge of the iceburg flapping their tails ever so slowly in the water.

The walrus say - and I know this because I have heard what they have said many times - they speak to many things - they say If you want to change the direction of any iceburg then you must get a grip and get your feet wet and then paddle the iceburg in that direction. The Walrus say we are happy doing what we are doing on the edge of this iceburg and more than happy with the momentum we have built up.

Now I don't want to disparage penguins like some other things like to do when they think I am not listening, so what if they have flat heads, beady eyes, pointy noses and they are always complaining that their bums are too close to the ice? So what if they can't soar like an albatross, rawr like a polar bear or splash about like a long toothed Walrus? I like penguins, when they are not huddling together on the iceburg, they are a sleek and graceful fish.

Penguins definitely have their place in the scheming of things, things is, I know that the Walrus have been the only ones flapping their tails (in any direction) for a very long time and the scientific fact that the iceburgs momentum is more dependent on the prevailing wind and the deep deep under currents than it is on the individual flaps and splashes of their tails hasn't escaped them.

The narwhals say that the iceburg could actually be a conglomeration of all the drips that voted for a political party in the last election- remember, all political parties only have a small percentage of voters who belong to the actual party as 'visible' members, the rest are only visible on polling day- but narwhals look too much like unicorns to be considered a verifiable source of credible information.

Them narwhals are real pricks by the way, fancy calling all the worthy citizens who voted for all the right reasons drips.

It's hard to squeak "to" flocking penguins about any thing other than how cold they bums are (and have been and are going to be) when they are huddling and its much flocking harder to squeak generally "about" flocking penguins without unintentionally hurting their individual feelings, particularly if any of the flocking penguins tend to over personalise every flocking thing they read and if others haven't flocking made enough flocking mistakes to learn anything about isosceles triangles, albatross necklaces and/or the navigational knack of factoring in the occasional bbump from an ill fated ship and/or another iceburg.

So....moving global-warming-ly forward with a slowly melting metaphor by.....

Squeaking about what I know that I know the walrus know- it's all good, I know they know I know - and it's a thing ......that maybe the penguins might knot know .........and that thing is....... that one of the effects of the splashing of the tails....... is to discourage the polar bears from climbing aboard the iceburg so they can start eating penguins, walrus and albatross eggs.

Anyhow, as might be remembered from paragraphs previous, the iceburg is drifting into warmer water and as it does so, the iceburg in question is looking more and more like a typo and as everyone knows, them pricks, the __nar,whals< always make a point of pointing out perceived negatives and, being the pricks they are, they will insist that if the rules are not being followed exactly, then something fishy is going on. Thing is, that something fishy is always going on in an ocean full of fish and “iceburg” is an entirely intentional typo because as everyone familiar with the wavy little line that appears under pissmellings would be aware = iceburg is usually spelt with an e, however, to suit the porpoise of the story thus far, iceburg has been spelt with the letter you.

And thus, the subtlety of the porpoise of this story is ever so slowly being concealed and whilst those pricks the __nar,whals< will no doubt, as a result of reading the previous paragraph, point out that __nar,whal< is not how narwhal is spelt according to the rules of the wavy line – tho they will be secretly delighted that - to suit the porpoise of the story- they have been typed narwhal in such a way that they look much cooler and less clumsy than they usually appear with __abighorn,acomma4aFlipper+aTail=< and after a period of time elapses . . . . . . will tell everyone that, of course, it could only have been a __nar,whal< who defied the wavy line in the first place.

In the mean time, the ___nar,whals< will ask. What is the porpoise squeaking about? Is there ever going to be any point to all this bblabber? What about the walrii and the turtle and why does the porpoise insist on using 3 or more ands in the same sentence?

Did you notice how the plural of walrus (walrii) looked even more walrus than walrus does due to the fact that the double eyes have walrus looking teeth?

The next part of this story wasn't going to be about flocking penguins because, in the big scheming of things, not much of this story is about flocking penguins, this next part of the story was to be about a deep see turtle and maybe albatross eggs or perhaps even isosceles wreck-tangles, but, somehow, this next part of the story seems to be about flocking penguins so everyone who likes a good turtle in a story is going to have to wait a bit flocking longer before we get to the meet of this story.

A hither-to unknown fact about flocking penguins....

Part of the dynamic for penguins, when it comes to getting a grip on any iceburg, is that when penguins huddle, they "naturally" create what is known as a pool of contentment. A warm puddle of bum warming water which is created partially by the bum and foot movements of the penguins as they huddle, shiver and complain, but mostly by... you guessed it..... by fresh penguin piss with the occasional sneaky poo.

Now, almost as soon as the penguins leave the pool of contentment their piss freezes until - to a floater on the ocean and the flocking penguins- the iceburg looks like it is entirely made of penguin piss..

RRRRRRRRRR the Pi-RRRaT said out loud on porpoise, what kind of a stoRy is this, why are ye talking about the piss out of penguins???? Enuff... Eye don't want to RRRead any moRe about flocking penguins, leave them squatting in their pool of contentment... Eye want- nay - DEMAND to heaRRR moRRRe about __naRRRR,whal< and the walRii and maybe some hitR2 unknown facts about deep see tuRRRtles and whales and haRRRpoons and stoRRRmy seas and while you aRe at it, in future, spell walRii the Pi-Rat way, it looks even more walarusishly walRii than walrii.

“Where you just been?” asked the walRii of the porpoise.

“Where everyone speaks according to the rules.” Squeaked the porpoise.
“That sounds very dry.” replied the walRii

“Some like it dry”, said the deep see turtle splashingly, “in fact, some insist on dry and cannot change their opinions. Teaching a tortoise how to fish for example. They look almost exactly like me, they got the beak for catching the fish but they don't have the wings to get close enough to catch the fish. Sure, they understand the theory and with furious effort can toepaddle for short distances, but the thing about theory that the theoreticians frequently – some would say conveniently – decline to share, is that in theory, practice and theory are of equal value, yet in practice they are not.”

“Very Deep” said the walRii

“Very Deep” said the porpoise

“KneeDeep “said an almost extinct Antarctic Frog

Knee deep stood the penguins in the pool of contentment murmuring......

“It's cold if we leave and warm if we stay, but, but, but, what are the rules and why do we play.

“Stop picking on the penguins” said the Pi-Rat.

“Stick to the point.” said the ~~nar,whals< who had been hard at work improving their image since the porpoise had evolutionised the spelling of narwhal, by __changing the ---horn so it appears more google-wiki-verifiably correct = like a spiral tooth growing out of the upper jaw.

The point---? asked the porpoise of the story with a glint in it's eye, surely you mean stick it to the plot?

Another significant amount of time passes until....

Would the fleas on a penguin, have sovereign rights upon said penguin?

Do the walRii (or their fleas) own their iceburg?

What of them pricks the ~~nar,whal<?

“Not meaning to spoil the plot”, squibbed a squid, “but none of those ^^ questions ^^ are expected to be answered in the words ahead, if indeed there are any.”

Anyways... I am still at wwwork on www.Little-Car-Stories.com - which you will remember (I do) was the focus of the January 2011 bblog - sheesh that was a quick 4 and 3/4 years, and yes, I am still working on book 3! Anyway, it's keeping me busy while I wait for the changes in the cannabis laws that will trigger either the roll out of the www.BigBongBurgerBar.com and/or the construction of Bongzilla..... Speaking about little car stories, since the 28th of August 2012, the stories have been available as an Android Phone App! To check it out, go to www.littlecargame.com - which is hot linked to www.inimitablegames.com which is where you will find details the app and the link you need to follow to the Google Play Store where you can download it....

Speaking about 420, which I wasn't but I ought, because it's actually quite important in the now, now, I know that I independantly decided to light up my scale model 'Big Bong Peace Pipe' in front of my web cam at 4.20 pm as part of the weekly 'BBt-PPP Global Gatherings' in early 1998 and so does Cannabis Dave the www.undatoka.com who used to meet me online at that time, I know that when I got to in Nimbin in the June of 1998 I started asking people to join me to light up at 420, I know that in 1999 I invited lots of people to 'light up' in front of my web cam in 'the peace camp' - the activists at drugsense.org and mapinc.org to name a couple and I know that when the 'peace camp cam' shut down in March of 2000 I moved the web cam set up into the Nimbin H*E*M*P Bar = starting at 4.20 pm on April 20 in the year 2000, I know that Cannabis Dave and/or I sat in the Nimbin H*E*M*P Bar inspiring thousands upon thousands of other locals, back packers and aussies to light up at 420 (until August 2008 when we shut the camera down after 8 years and four months) and I know that every www.nimbin-marijuana-march.420-web-hosting.com since the very first one in 99, which was celebrated by, you guessed it, Cannabis Dave and me, (plus Paris, Ruben and Felix) have lit up at 420 and I also know that of all the people I have ever met - on line and off - none of them was 420ing before I was. Point being, so what. So what if I been 420ing longer than anyone? 420, like the google bot and the internet, all evolved around me. I was there to watch it grow, I got the benefits of being in the vanguard of those who was helping spread the mythos of FourTwenty and most of all I know that every MardiGrass since 1999 the number of people sharing 420 with me has increased. Mission accomplished ;O)

And thus, having run out of stuff to talk about and link "to" (do have a quick check at www.BigJoint.org just in case ;0) during the "first" month of twenty sixteen, the only thing left to tell you at this point in cyber space and time dear linear scholar is that maybe you can find me sitting at the POLITE table on the back veranda of the Nimbin H*E*M*P* Embassy or acting like a barrista in the H*E*M*P* Bar, in the drugsense Chat Room or perhaps on the Nimbin H*E*M*P*Embassy Forums or, if you are one of the cyber citizens who decided to a part of facebook go to facebook.com/BigBongPeacePipeProject.
FaceBook ID = Max Stone.

till next

peace

;O)--~

P.S Did you ever hear about the arrest for the cultivation of the Cannabis Plants that were to have been the focus of the 2001 webshow.

Scene of the first Big Bong WebShow. April 1996
The Big Bong Shop on the corner of Cleveland and Abercrombie Streets
Surrey Hills Sydney Australia. .