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Little Cars go to Rainbow Town
words assembled by Gary John Ford
during the later part of 2010
on an IBM R50 Thinkpad
named LittleQwerty.
There is a family of little cars who live at the end of a gravel road deep
in the forest and high in the hills above rainbow town, this is one of
their stories.
There was a red one named little red.
There was a blue one named little blue.
There was a green one named little green.
There was a little pink one named little pink.
and the little orange one, his name was pobb.
That's Pea Oh with a Double Bee. Everyone called him pobb because that was
the sound he made when he zoomed along the road.
pobb-pobb-pobb-pobb-pobb-pobb.
p
o
b
b
pobb
anyway, one day all the little cars was driving down the gravel road
together and they came to a fork in the road. Yes, an actual fork, stuck
in the road.
and there was a horse standing in the field near the fork in the road and
all the little cars pulled up in a neat little line, next to the horse,
that was near the fork, that was in the road.
little blue asked the horse which was the way to the ice cream shop.
little green asked the horse which was the way to the library.
little red wanted to know who left their fork stuck in the road.
little yellow, who I hadn't mentioned till now because he's been hiding
behind little purple, wanted to know the way to the flower shop.
little purple didn't ask the horse anything because her horn wasn't
working properly.
little pink blinked his blinkers. blink, blink, blink.
The horse listened to all of the questions from all of the little cars.
But, because he was a horse, he didn't answer them. Horses can only talk
to each other, not to cars or people.
So all the little cars drove past the fork that was in the road.
Except for pobb that is.
pobb stayed behind and tried to talk to the horse.
pobb kept trying to talk to the horse, but after a very short while, the
horse walked away because when a car talks to a horse, all the horse hears
is beep beep beep.
This story goes on for a very long time and we haven't even got to the
part with the helicopter yet.
and before I can even begin to talk about the helicopter, I have to ask
you my child, what is the name of the little orange car.....
if you don’t say pobb
I will know that you are sleep and I can save the next bit of the story
for later.
I heard you say Pobb, which surprises me because pobb is not such an easy
name to remember and also, that was a pretty sleepy part of the story. Can
you also remember what was the name of the little red car?
and what is the name of the little blue car?
and what was the name of the little green car?
and what is the name of the little yellow car?
and what is the name of the little purple car?
and what is the name of the little blinking car?
and what is the name of the little orange one?
well done. You remembered them all
who was hiding behind little yellow?
Ha! that's a trick question.
Little yellow was hiding behind little purple, no one was hiding behind
little yellow.
I can tell that you're awake by the sounds that you make. So since you are
still awake, say pobb out loud three times to hear the next part of the
story.
Anyway, the fork was still stuck in the road when the dog who lived next
door to the horse jumped over the fence so it could ask the horse what the
little orange car was talking about and where it was going. The horse
didn't speak dog either and decided it was time to nibble on some fresh
grass in the far corner of the field where it wouldn't have to listen to
dogs barking about cars beeping.
The dog, who was quite used to the horse not talking with him, went down
and started talking to pobb.
"What are you doing and where are you going?" barked the Dog.
"Hello Dog." beeped pobb.
.
The horse looked up from where it was eating grass in the furtherest
corner of the field - as far away from the fork that was still stuck in
the road as possible - and, as usual, it couldn't understand a word they
were beeping and barking to each other and so he went back to thinking
about eating the mushroom he had just discovered in a tasty tuft of grass.
"HEY HEY HEY HEY DON'T EAT MY ROOF" said a Caterpillar, in a little
squeaky voice.
Must I remind you that this is a story about little cars racing along the
road to rainbow town discovering things, it's not a story about mushrooms
or horses. Please tell the horse to go back to its own story and stop
eating my roof so I can go back to sleep listening to what the little cars
are doing next and why they want ice cream because cars haven't got mouths
and they also don't have noses to smell the flowers in the flower shop."
said the Caterpillar.
As soon as that caterpillar stopped talking, the horse, who couldn't
understand a word of caterpillar either, remembered that horses don't eat
mushrooms, but do eat the occasional caterpillar and so, before he went
back to his own story, which is mostly about nice grasses to eat and how
to find them, gobbled up that caterpillar and swallowed him whole and
nobody ever heard from that caterpillar again, which is the saddest part
of the whole story. No other insects are intentionally harmed in this
story, unless you count the ants who didn't look and listen carefully
enough before they crossed the road.
Testing time... !
Can you remember the name of the little red car?
and what was the name of the little green car?
and what is the name of the little yellow car?
and what is the name of the little purple car.?
and how many legs did the caterpillar have?
Ha! Another trick question, we never counted the caterpillar legs.
and what is the name of the little pink car?
and what is the name of the little orange car?
well done. You remembered all of the names of all the little cars.
I can tell that you're awake by the sounds that you make.
So say pob out loud three times for the next part of the story
Anyhow, now it's time for the next part, which isn't much of a sleepy part
because this is the part where the little cars start racing. First came
number 1, then came number 2, right behind 2 came number 3, with number 4
and number 5 and number 6 so close to each other that you wouldn't have
been able to hear little purples horn if it barked- I mean beeped. Whoops.
I forgot to tell you that every little car had a number on the side of it
because every one of these little cars was a racing car, especially pobb.
Little Red was number 1.
Little Blue was number 2
Little Yellow was number 3
Little Purple was number 4
Little Pink was number 5
Little Green was number 6
and pobb had the number 8 on him.
Yep, Eight. I bet you thought that I was going to tell you pobb was number
7, and probably in some other story about little cars you would have been
right, but not in this story, better luck next time.
pobb has the number 8 on the side of him because number seven belongs on
little brown who is broken down and couldn’t come to rainbow town, now,
before we get too far behind, we had better get a move on if we expect to
catch up with the little cars who are all racing towards rainbow town as
safely as possible.
Pobb was way behind because, if you remember, the last we heard from pobb,
he was still stuck at the fork that was stuck in the road near where the
dog was now standing instead of the horse which has gone back to its own
story.
"What are you doing and where are you going?" barked the Dog.
"I can't understand dog." beeped pobb.
"What are you doing and where are you going?" barked the Dog.
"I can't understand dog." beeped pobb.
"What are you doing and where are you going?" barked the Dog happily.
"I haven't got time to learn how to speak dog", beeped Pobb, "I have to
race to rainbow town as safely as possible before my battery goes flat."
"What are you doing and where are you going?" barked the Dog
"See you on the way back", beeped pobb as he zoomed off towards rainbow
town as fast as his little engine could power him and that was
considerable.
It didn't take too long for pobb to catch up to the other little cars
because the road to rainbow town has a bottleneck bridge that you have to
find if you want to get to it, which is where all the little cars was
parked in a neat little line next to a spoon and a cow.
"How a spoon got in this story I have no idea". said the cow who lived
next to the bottle neck bridge that you have to find if you want to get to
rainbow town.
"Wow, I can understand cow," said the spoon.
"How a talking spoon got in this story I have no idea" said the cow".
Please tell me how you can talk if you don't have a mouth".
"The same way that little cars eat ice cream." said the spoon.
"That's no answer" said the cow.
"It suits the purpose of the story to have a talking spoon appear in it."
said the spoon.
"What porpoise?" said the cow.
"This porpoise". said the bottle nosed dolphin who lived under the bottle
necked bridge that you have to find if you want to get to rainbow town.
"It suits me to have the talking spoon that fell out of the right sock of
the storytelling man from rainbow town appear at this point of the story
and if we are lucky, the spoon will tell us all about the fork.
"We saw a fork at the start of the story" said little red.
"The fork we saw was actually stuck in the actual road" said little blue.
"It wasn't a talking fork" said little green.
Number Four didn't say anything because her horn wasn't working properly.
"We haven’t seen any socks.' said little yellow.
"I think the fork and the spoon are both clues' said pob cleverly.
Little pink blinked his blinkers. blink, blink, blink
What are those little cars beeping about? said the cow.
"No point asking me' said the spoon, "I can only speak cow and dolphin."
It was just at that moment that the storytelling man - himself - from
rainbow town came skipping and whistling across the bottlenecked bridge.
I am the king of finding
in case you need reminding.
but the title isn't binding
unless fork and spoon I'm finding..
as the story is unwinding.
I'll keep singing this finding tune
until I find that fork 'n spoon.
Have any of you characters thought to ask if the child is asleep? said the
storytelling man to the cow, the spoon, the dolphin and all the little
cars.
"Not me" said the cow.
"Not me" said the spoon.
"Not me" said the dolphin.
"Not me" said number one.
"Not me" said little blue.
"Not me" said little yellow.
My horn still isn't working properly thought little purple to her self.
"Not me" said little green.
little pink blinked his blinkers, blink, blink, blink.
"Not me" said pobb
"If the child is still awake," said the storytelling man from rainbow
town, "they must say pobb out loud three times for the next part of the
story."
Now pobb was a very smart little car, he had recognized the fork and the
spoon to be clues, he still wasn't sure what they were clues to, but he
had been a little car long enough to know what a clue was, particularly if
he saw that clue actually stuck in the road.
"We need to find the story telling fork next if we are to be the king of
finding once more" said Lefty, the left sock of storytelling man from
rainbow town.
"Every good story has a fork in it, some stories have lots of forks in
them" said Righty, the storytelling mans right sock.
"We've only got the one story telling fork .” said Lefty.
“and it's usually to be found at the start of a story." Said Righty
It was just at this moment that the fork came walking down the road which
was an interesting thing to see because a fork doesn't have legs.
"Hello Fork" said the talking spoon to the walking fork.
"Hello Spoon" said the walking fork to the talking spoon.
"That was way cool, the way that the fork handled the road," said little
red to the other little cars. "I would have thought a fork would walk
using its pointy parts like an octopus".
There was no reply from the fork or the spoon and then, without another
word out of the mouth it dint have, the story telling fork poked its
pointy parts back into the road, and once more, the story split into
several parts at once.
"Time to cross the bottlenecked bridge if you want to get to rainbow town
before the kookaburras sing the sun setting song." said the bottlenosed
dolphin.
What song do the kookaburras sing as the sun goes down? asked Pobb.
"They sing a sundown song that sounds the opposite of what they sing first
thing as the sun is rising in the morning." said the left sock of
storytelling man from rainbow town with a laugh a lot like a kookaburras'.
"In the morning, they start laughing about the day to come and at night,
they are laughing about the day just lived. said the right sock.
“In the morning they laugh ahahahahahahah.” said Lefty.
“and in the evening they laugh hahahahahahaha.” said Righty.
"Notice how the words hahahahahahaha and ahahahahahah look like
caterpillars laying on their backs with their legs in the air?" Pointed
out the walking fork.
And then the walking talking fork stuck itself back into the road so it
wouldn't look like an octopus and be chased (again) by the bottlenosed
dolphin who lived under the bottlenecked bridge, because, like all
dolphins and porpoises, the bottlenosed dolphin who lived under the
bottlenecked bridge that you have to cross if you want to get to rainbow
town loved chasing after squid and octopuses in much the same way that a
dog likes to bark at cars. Which is, as we know, lots of fun for the dog,
but makes no sense to the car.
All of the little cars started their engines and headed as safely as
possible over the bottlenecked bridge. The story telling man tucked the
talking spoon into his right sock and then he threw the walking fork high
in the sky until it landed in the next part of the story, which,
fortunately for us, is right in the middle of rainbow town and on the
other side of the bottlenecked bridge.
"What are we doing?" asked Lefty.
"Where are we going?" asked Righty.
"Those socks sure sound like dogs." remarked the cow to the dolphin.
"Do you speak dog?" asked the dolphin.
"I can't bark dog" said the cow. "I got the wrong shaped ears for it."
"Ears!" said the dolphin, "O how I wish I had ears."
"If you don't have ears how come you can hear me?" said the cow.
"The same way that little cars can eat ice cream." replied the dolphin
"That's no answer" said the cow.
"I know," said the dolphin, "but like the spoon said earlier, it suits the
porpoise of the story."
Meanwhile, there was a horse standing in the park that was next to the
fork in the middle of rainbow town and all the little cars pulled up next
to the horse that was near the fork that was in the road..
little blue asked the horse which was the way to the ice cream shop
little green asked the horse which was the way to the library.
little red asked why the horse had a horn on it's head.
little yellow wanted to know the way to the flower shop.
little purple didn't ask the horse anything because her horn wasn't
working properly.
little pink blinked his blinkers. blink, blink, blink.
Pobb wanted to know where little purple could get her horn fixed.
The horse listened to all of the questions from all of the little cars and
because she was a unicorn - which is what you call a horse with a horn on
it's head - she understood every note they beeped.
"I am a Unique Horn, little red one. Which is what horses with horns on
their head are called." said the Unicorn.
"The icecream shop is across the road from the flower shop, little blue
two " said the Unicorn.
"The flower shop is on the opposite side of the street to the icecream
shop, little yellow three." said the Unicorn.
"The library is next to the flower shop little green six' " said the
Unicorn.
The Unicorn winked at little pink, wink wink wink. Little pink blinked
back. blink blink blink.
Little pink doesn't say much thought little purple to her self, I wonder
if his horn is working properly.
“I can fix broken horns.” said the Unicorn to pobb.
“She sure can.” said little pink and then blinked his blinkers as he sang.
The unicorn - fixed my horn - now I can sing this song
The unicorn - fixed my horn - who wants to sing along.
The unicorn - fixed my horn - so I can sing - beep beep
The unicorn - fixed my horn - beep beep beep beep BEEP
“Thank you ever so very very much”. said little purple to the unicorn and
then she starting singing.
The unicorn - fixed my horn - so I can sing along
The unicorn - fixed my horn - so I can sing this song.
And then all the little cars joined in singing.
The unicorn - fixed the horns - so we all can sing - beep beep
The unicorn - fixed the horns - beep beep beepety BEEP
“That’s enough honking for now”, said the unicorn. “If you are not careful
you might wake up a sleeping child and nobody has checked for the longest
time to see if the child is still awake, if they are, they must say the
unicorn has fixed my horn to hear the next part of the story.”
And then what happened next was that little yellow went into the flower
shop and got some flowers to take home to little brown who had broken down
while little green went to the library and got out some books to take home
to read out loud to little brown who had broken down and little blue went
to the ice cream shop and got ice cream to share with everybody at the
little car party, little red, little purple, little pink and pobb stayed
parked next to the unicorn, all listening to the last laughs of the
kookaburra.
Who wants to give me a ride back to the other side
of the bottlenecked bridge?," said the fork," I want to get back to my
ever so comfortable bed in the left sock of the story telling man who will
have lit the fire by now so he can sit next to it and tell everyone the
stories he can see in the flames."
"Pick me". said little red
"Pick me". said little blue
"Pick me". said little green
"Pick me". said little yellow
"Pick me". said little purple
"Pick me". said little pink with an extra blink for a wink.
"Pick me". said pobb.
I'll pick you all." said the fork, and then they all raced as safely as possible over the bottleneck bridge
stopping every so often so the fork could have a ride in all the little
cars as headed towards their home deep in the forest at the end of a gravel
road high in the hills with their little headlights shining bright as
bright could be until....
"Here come those little cars again." said the porpoise.
"I wish I got the point of what you just said," said the cow.
"Where are they going? " said Lefty.
"What are they doing?" said Righty.
"What are those socks barking about now?". asked the cow
"They were joking". said the storytelling man from rainbow town.
"I knew that", said the cow, "I was just trying to be L.B.F."
L.B.F? asked the porpoise.
"A little bit funny." said the cow.
All the little cars was parked in a neat little line under the street
light and next to where the helicopter that was finally coming down to
land.
"Helicopter!" said the porpoise. Flaptabulous!15 points for me in the
listening game after 35 points of cars.
"Helicopter!" said the cow just a second too late. Darn no points for me
again,
makes me behind - I must remind.
"Helicopter?" said Lefty. I'll be darned if I get any points in me.
"Roflcopter!" said Righty. I'll be darned if I get any holes in me.
"It's the Helicopter from the start of the story!" said little red.
"Oh look, it's the Helicopter!" said little yellow.
"Wow, wow, wow a Helicopter!" said little blue.
"Helicopter Helicopter." said little purple.
"Whoot, a Helicopter!" said little pink.
"Roflcopter!" said pobb, "them socks are darn funny."
"Hello - Hello - Hello - Hello - Hello - Hello - Hello - Hello - Hello -
Hello." said Echo the Helicopter, as it settled down on the ground. "Who
won the listening game?"
"What is this listening game we suddenly just heard about?" asked pobb.
"Well, Well, Well." said Echo the Helicopter, "That's a story I can't tell.
Better to hear it from the story telling man from rainbow town, he's the
one who knows the most about the listening game."
"I used to play this game with my father when I was a little boy," said
the story telling man from rainbow town, "my dear old dad told me he
learnt it from his father who was a little boy when this game and cars
were invented and the listening game is a game that almost everyone can
play and all you need is ears.
Its a game with points. You get 5 points for a car and 15 points for a
helicopter.
The listening game is played when ever and where ever you happen to be,
you can even play it at night in your bed. Best part about the listening
game is that once you practice and get really good at working out the
sounds that you are hearing and how close they are, you won't get run over
like an ant by a car." "I like the listening
game" said pob, "I like the idea that every little boy and girl who ever
hears this story always listens out for cars, I like the fact that
everywhere I go, a careful kid somewhere got 5 points."
"I like it for exactly the same reasons." said Echo the
helicopter.
"Possums play the listening game too you know" said
UncleErnie the possum who was hanging from the tree by his tail to
everyone who could listen. "Except we possums get 20 points for trucks and
here comes a big fat 20 points for me.
"Did you beat the wallaby in the Listening Game again
Possum?" said YoYo the big big Truck.
"He always does, dear old UncleErnie has earned the
sharpest pair of ears this side of the bottle necked bridge" said Wobbly
the Wallaby.
"Second sharpest" said Lefty.
"That's right Lefty, the story telling man from
rainbow town has the pointiest ears around here". said Righty.
"He's been playing the listening game for nearly
50 years." said Lefty.
"And he is on this side of the bottlenecked bride" said
Righty
"Righty is technically Right," said dear old UncleErnie,
I got 50 points when he crossed over the bottlenecked bridge earlier in
the story.
"I'd sooner wear a gag, than start to brag," said the
storytelling man from rainbow town, "But. I am the king of finding in case
you need reminding and since hearing is untiring I am constantly aspiring
to keep my points up climbing and the more sounds I am knowing keeps my
points upgrowing, staying ever on alert, in case I could get hurt."
"I love how much safer everyone has become since we
all started playing the listening game." said YoYo the big big truck,
"I got to keep 22 big wheels rolling up and down and up and down the road
as safely as possible at all times and its hard to miss animals and people
that aren't listening properly."
"Are you called YoYo because you are always going up
and down the road?" asked pobb.
"Truth be known". said YoYo. "They called me
CHASSIS Number BFT-22W-Y0Y0Y-421964 when I came off the production line, which as you can see has why-oh
and a why-oh in
the middle of it, and YoYo is much easier to say than CHASSIS Number
BFT-22W-Y0Y0Y-421964, the fact that I spend my life going up and down and
up and down the road as safely as possible is besides the point and a pure
coincidence."
and then, because the way back always seems to be shorter than the way
there and the dog was asleep all the little cars raced as safely as possible towards
their little car house at the end of a gravel road deep in the forest and
high in the hills and when they got there, well, you can imagine for
yourself what happened because now it’s time to turn the light out and go
to sleep...... |
