BigBongBBlog / Reality Update
December - 2006

'They who can assimilate the past, can synthesize the nowww, they who can synthesize the nowww can maximize the potential of the future'
                                                                         Quote = Eric Blair +

First up webstuff = all sublinks open a new w window

webgreetings Dear Linear Scholar,

First time here? If so, first thing you need to know is that we been bumped up at a pause point for more than a couple of years now, wwwaiting for the Law to change and the next thing you need to knowww is that Big Bong Reality has been Updated Monthly for *at least* the One Hundred and Thirty Fifth time since September 1995. (Over 11 web years old, as for how many actual "Realty Updates" written in more than a decade and uploaded 'in between' the *at least*135 monthlies? Dunno, except that its way way more than 420, this is the most often overwwwriten webpage in my cyberspace ;O)--~

Historically speaking, this reality update feature was one of the main clauses written into the contract I signed (with I.R.C.S.A) for the first BigBong website  Clause = Author (that's me) to supply a reality update every 2 weeks for duration of contract (2 years) - which I did, they figured (rightly) that without me to write fresh words, the Big Bong web site wouldn't be a 'proper" website. In September of 97 when the contract was finished and I.R.C.S.A decided to step aside, I kept the website with it's reality update going and have never missed upgrading this page, which, I suppose makes this one of the longest running blogs on the web, of course, I write way way way more words per month than what you can see in here - most of the heavy duty blogging I do/have done is viewable at the teXt-files, I digress - mostly to illustrate the continuity nightmare that blogging can create when a 'first timer' hits a blog and all the information on display requires prior knowledge.....

METAphorically the Big Bong web construct can be likened to a solar powered space craft, each sail is made of <html> shaped in such a way so as to powwwer the web construct through cyber space, kinda like a sailing ship through the ocean. Since powering up the webcam can be likened to firing up the 'prime thruster' of a rocket ship and since the BBt-PPP Cyber Capsule was designed to only light up the prime thruster at the start of construction and since there are so many sails powwwering the BBt-PPP, it has made sense to let the 'good ole' BBt-PPP Cyber Capsule voyage blurbingly along its eccentric tangent towards materialization at a future point in space and time whilst I went else web to construct other smaller more maneuverable constructs powwwered almost entirely by web cam imagery, portals originally designed as tug boats for the BBt-PPP which were designed to morph into 'retro rockets' with the passing of time.

Thus you know some of the wwwhy why this page morphed into an elseweb portal page over the last few trips round the sun, a book markable sign post page that is never more than a "mouse click" away from wwwhere-ever the wwwords are being wwwoven in the now.

Thing is, that I never set out to become a Big Bong builder or a Cannabis Law Reform Activist, I set out to become a writer and as you can imagine dear linear scholar, after such a long time of not being able to manifest all of the myriad requirements that obstacle me in reality you would think I would be some what discouraged, not so, I mean, I knew from the instant that I had the idea that actually building Bongzilla (my nick name for the Big Bong Peace Pipe) was going to be somewhere the other side of highly impossible.

Thing is, I am not discouraged, because no matter how impossible building a 420 foot high Big Bong Peace Pipe looks in December of 2006, it is definitely and significantly less impossible now than when I first had the idea on the 29th of June 1994, not to mention the fact that the writer/artist in me has had plenty of outlet weaving what amounts to an entire sector of cyber space, which is why, when all is said and done, I am not discouraged by Bongzilla being bumped up at this pause point, not when there is so much happening in the real world of my highly subjective reality ;O)--~


Over a decade online... yeah, this time eleven years ago I was one finger typing up the manuscript that ultimately became the novel that this entire webspace is constructed around on a 386 with 4 MB of RAM. Internet was a word I had heard on television whilst 'back packing' in the U.S.A (91-94), of course, I had been reading about global computer networks in science fiction novels since I learnt how to read, but 'reading about' and 'writing with-in' are entirely different things, which loopingly brings me to the main point of this word assembly, the "weblog" component of this December 2006 Reality Update BBack tracking a bit, I did the web work on the THE BIG JOINT GOEs TO CANBERRA after the Nimbin MardiGrass in May, over the past few months I've helped the Nimbin H*E*M*P* Embassy launch the  ChurchOfTheHolySmoke, and, did a bit of work on and as well re-launching the / and launching the I've also been uploading movies to I know I was going to make a BIG announcement last month and the month before and the month before that and now, with spring already sprung, I'm still no closer to closing the deal on a construction site for a large cylindrical object  in downtown Nimbin than I was when I stupidly thought I was close to closing in July, actually, if anything, I seem to be getting further away and since 2007 is mere days away. ummm, well what else can I say except I am sure that 2007 is going to be THE year construction starts...

a thing I'm writing for the NimbinGoodtimes.....

The Galactic Defense Initiative. Part One, in the beginning…..

The following story is true, some of the names have been changed for protection from Alien Subjugation.

Finally, I was in command of my first Space Fleet, I’d managed to buy a Light fighter and a Cargo Ship for 5 thousand Metal and 3 thousand Crystal the pair, then as soon as my deuterium mine produced enough Duet to fuel the fleet, I set off on my first mission. Ahead of my fleet went my Espionage probes, scouting each sector of the universe ahead of me. I had a lot riding on this mission, if I picked the wrong target I could lose the fleet I had worked so hard for down in the mines. Now, I got nothing against mining, planets, moons, it’s all the same to me, and lets face it, without a basic income how will I ever arise to be a powerful force in the Universe? Mines is how you earn your daily bread they taught me in the academy, never neglect your mines and take good care of your mining robots, update them as often as possible and always allocate res (resources) to upgrade your mines. Thing was that mining wasn’t in my blood, just the work ethic, and, I hoped, the tactical skills required to become a top ranked raider/pirate in the Galactic Defense Initiative.

The most often employed strategy for when you start out is ‘don’t attack aliens with defense and don’t attack them if they are ‘on planet’, look for inactive planets at first, start small and spend the res developing a balanced attack fleet and mines…. Not me, I wanted a big score first hit, I wanted to fill my cargo ship with the full 5K of mixed metals, take that back to the ship yard, buy me another cargo ship, fill up on Duet and go straight back out raiding aliens, the GDI needs as much res as possible to strengthen our home planets, resource allocation is what it’s all about, their defense verses our offense and our defense against their offense. My trusty, if somewhat 2nd hand and rusty, eprobes return with exactly the kind of target every one dreams about, the classic system alien system exploitation array, planets 1,2,3,7,14 & 15, the planets closest to the sun mining crystal, the middle ones metal and duet on the cold planets furthest from the sun. Dare I, a 1 planet wonder with the cheapest possible attack fleet take a shot at such an industrious target, me who spent res on a space fleet instead of on lasers to protect my mines, dare I sneak in while it was inactive? I probed his allegiances, 1 member, just him, that means it’s a target, that means it’s an alien unable to join a human alliance, trying to suck unwary space warriors into it’s vortex. What the heck, I was a private in the Galactic Defense Initiative, a brand new alliance, freshly formed to take advantage of an ever expanding universe and make it safe for humanity. I punched the attack coordinates into my level 1 computer. Target:: Universe 17:: Galaxy 1:: Sector 137 :: Planet 7. A strike right to his home world, all or nothing! And then nothing to do for the hour and a half real time it will take me to there once I drop out of hyperspace. A slight shudder goes thru my fighter as we enter real space time, I look out the back window, phew, me cargo bucket is still there and now for the gentle arc in towards the sun, passing planets 15 and 14, yep as I suspected, duet mines with heaps of duet piled up ripe for the plundering, if I make it thru this first strike to the home planet that is……..

Planet 7 fills the view screens, Level 6 tech and higher every where I look, huge mining infrastructure that must have cost billions to develop, a dangerous threat to humanity. Minutes flow into seconds as the peril point approaches, peril point being the point of no recall, the point where no matter which way you steer your ship, it’s into ENEMY FIRE. Reflexively I flinch as I blast thru the peril point with 50 Ion Cannons already rapid firing at the defenses….. No return fire, nothing, all the defenses are powered down, I’m damaging factories, I save the ammo for future use and while my cargo-bots load the plunder, I keep my eyes wide open. I might be in a well baited trap. Warily I circle the cargo boat until its fully loaded. It takes off no problems and then, together, we head for home…. 2 long hours to home. On the way I contact the shipyard, scheduled the construction of 2 more cargo ships and then, spent some res upgrading my mines, I was in for a busy night it seemed, Flight Regs say you can only raid 1 planet 6 times a day, that meant I had 36 possible missions to run every 24 hours, 2 hours there, 2 hours back, assuming the Alien dint return and catch me raiding his daily mine production that is, I did the math, I did it again and then again really really carefully, yep, my short term success looked highly lucrative, won’t be too long before I can afford a Heavy Fighter and some large cargo ships, first though, I had better concentrate on building lots more Small Cargo Ships I decided as I boiled the kettle. I looked out the window and I couldn’t see the forest because of all the trees. Instantly transformed back into ‘dad’ about to wash up the breakfast dishes.

Part Two

From Fleet Command:  As soon as the last Bomber comes out of the ship yard, the bomber crew has less than five minutes to power up and join the other 5 Bombers, 22 BattleShips 44 Cruisers, 101 Heavy Fighters, 303 Light Fighters, 8 Large and 80 Small Cargo Ships in the launch queue. Recyclers are due at the attack coordinates 42 seconds after Peril Point and we are expecting fire from at least 50 Gauss cannons as well as hundreds of other assorted nasties, all robots ensure your CPU escape pods are fully activated, program your last thought to be ” I hope they rebuild me luckier than last time….. See you all at the attack coordinates…

I push hard on the throttle of my Light Fighter, the same one I’ve always flown, I’m like that with machines, I use em till they flat line. Protocol dictates that my parking bay is nearest the launch ramp (and the beverage dispenser and waste evacuation chamber) I get to park there so that I am the first one to take off and the first one to the Peril Point, which is always the last place the enemy expects me to be.

Careful listening in the Officers Mess at GDI Alliance HQ revealed that most of them zing around in ever so well equipped brand spanking new BattleShips, not me, I liked the quiet of a one man attack ship. After I’m away comes the most expensive components of my Robotic Fleet, the Bombers. For the first part of this mission I’m out front throttled back with the bombers, they aren’t real smart robots, but they can carry heavy things, yep, they can carry heavy things incredibly long distances at extremely costly fuel rates and then drop them with ponderous accuracy, bombers take off like rocks, they fly like rocks and after they have dropped their bombs which are, of course, rocks, they still handle like rocks. Nothing high tech about a bomber at all because a large lump of rock launched at 20,000 kilometers per second from 200,000.01 Kilometers above you is a primitive but highly effective a weapon even if it only lands near you!

It is quite a sight watching the 10 small Cargos then 1 heavy, then 10 small, then 1 heavy launch sequence. If you could hear anything in a vacuum the next blast of noise would be ear blatteringly awe inspiring, as ‘every thing’ but the Cruisers blasts off. Cruisers go last cause they come in real fast and usually it takes all my skill to avoid being blown away by the cruisers as they come torpedoing in. High destructive power with a corresponding high ratio of destruction in battle. I did a first few cruiser runs when I bought the first one and wow, are they a machine to fly, you almost beat the bullets.

Hours till Peril Point, plenty of time to reflect upon all of the targeting decisions that have been made. The recyclers have to be there just after the cruiser attack which has to come just after the main fleet but before the third wave of heavy fighters, light fighters and fighting cargo boats slams in. I’m tempted to add a fourth wave, a brand spanking new Light Fighter and Fighting Small Cargo Ship fitted with 120% weapons, 100% shields and 100% armor which is the very first build on order from my new brand new nanite factory powered by nanobot technology. Yeah, I might fly that one in by remote from my constantly upgraded LightFighter101, if I can hang around long enough in the Debris Field that is. You wouldn’t believe the amount of indescribe-a-bubbles that there are floating in a DF after Gauss Cannons have been spraying super heated plasmatic rock at rocket ships made of rock. Big globs of super heated metal and crystal, all afire with the duet from ruptured fuel tanks.

I hadn’t come by such an impressive fleet by accident, no siree bob. Lots of hard work had been done in my mines to get the metal and crystal to make all those space ships to help protect the Universe. I had ‘brightly’ continued to invest in the very best solar plants money could buy and ensured that they were upgraded before my mines were, but of all the things I had bought, Small Cargo Ships were still at the top of the best buy list, what a good decision they were to invest in early, back bone of the fleet these days I reckon, wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for the small cargo ship, I got more than 300 of them whizzing around the universe at all times and they have become especially effective since that level 11 Combustion drive upgrade kicked in, less time between planets. The phone rings.. I’m having trouble with my broadband, an exasperated voice says, Can you come and help me get back on line? I really need to check my email, I’m expecting one. Quickly I powered down the laptop and the universe it contains in order to answer the tech call out, I should be able to make it back on line in plenty of time to watch the attack. As I headed out the door and up the gravel road I decided I definitely needed more robots….


Back to cyberspace; won't be long now till the start the yearly aussie summer time webcast/grow show from the BigBongMobile of the Stump Plant, and thus, having run out of stuff to talk about and link to for this month, the only thing left to tell you at this point in cyber space and time dear linear scholar is ... maybe I'll catch you in the BBt-PPP Chat Room...

till next



P.S. the sound you "might be hearing" is a snippet from The Man in the Dark Sedan by Snakefinger and the Residents.

P.S.S The video images of the BigBongMobile @ Mardigrass are in the BIG-MOVIES Sector at

P.S.S. Did you hear about the arrest for the cultivation of the Cannabis Plants that were to have been the focus of the 2001 webshow.



Scene of the first Big Bong WebShow. April 1996
The Big Bong Shop on the corner of Cleveland and Abercrombie Streets
 Surrey Hills Sydney Australia. .